Are you a fan of You Monsters Are People but still feel like a worthless human being because you’ve never done anything to support it? Have you wanted to help out but just aren’t an altruistic enough person? Do you need some form of incentive to do anything? You are in luck!
My good friend Chloe, from Chloe Hearts Owls, fashioned a hand made You Monsters Are People beanie hat and I’m giving it away to a random fan. I have personally approved this hat as “100% wearable.” As a bonus, I will include several skin cells and a hair or two from when I tried it on! I’ll also throw in an original printed booklet of some of my earliest works with something special scribbled inside just for you. Runners up will get that same ancient black and white copy of my writing and a few stickers to put on parked police cars.
All you need to do is promote You Monsters Are People by linking to the website and including the hashtag (which we used to just call a pound sign) #YouMonstersArePeople. Make sure that you make the posting public and are following on Facebook or Twitter to ensure your entry is easy for me to find (because I am not about to make this a lot of extra work for myself).
As long as you follow the above guidelines, you can write basically whatever you want. But if you want some help, here are a few examples that you can copy and paste right into Facebook or Twitter:
- You-Monsters-Are-People.com once made me laugh so hard that I blew out my prostate AND I LOVED IT. #YouMonstersArePeople
- I’m going to kill your friends and family members if you don’t check out YouMonstersArePeople.com right away. #YouMonstersArePeople
- You-Monsters-Are-People.com made me laugh until I had a brain aneurysm and died. #YouMonstersArePeople
- I’m going to maybe get a free hat from #YouMonstersArePeople and you can too if you share this. #FreeHat
- My mom hits me and I need someone to call Child Protective Services. Go to YouMonstersArePeople.com #YouMonstersArePeople
- Life is meaningless… unless you visit You-Monsters-Are-People.com and get a free hat! #YouMonstersArePeople
But enough about what you should say, let’s get to that marvelous hat you are all coveting. First of all it’s geared towards normal-sized heads but can stretch to suit slightly larger craniums. If your noggin circumference is approaching Elephant Man status though, this might not be the hat for you. It is also entirely hand knit “grandma style” from an acrylic and wool blend. That means it’ll keep you warm on cold days but also remain comfortable on the warmer ones without getting itchy. That is not, however, an endorsement to wear this thing on the hottest day of the year like some kind of idiot.
The giveaway starts immediately and ends June 23rd (you can enter as many times as you want in that period). I’ll be keeping track until that date, when I will randomly pick the winners. Deliver a clever quip, link to your favorite article, link to your most hated article, or simply explain that you’re in this for the free hat. Just make sure that you do it before midnight on June 23rd.