Author Archives: You Monsters Are People

About You Monsters Are People

Wisdom, wonderment and weird for everyone.

Smoking: Still Totally Cool

I used to love smoking. For years smoking allowed me to take longer and more frequent breaks at work, was a good excuse to get off my ass and go outside, and frequently allowed me an opportunity to start up … Continue reading

Posted in america, comics, Dark Humor, humor, Life, science, society, style, true stories, web comics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Become A Billionaire Before Black Friday!

The other day I was eating a money-themed candy bar and thought to myself, “I’m not going to have enough cash to buy people Christmas gifts again.” I usually try to convince myself that the holidays are all about spending … Continue reading

Posted in america, Current Events, Dark Humor, humor, Life, society | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

An Apology To People Who Hate Reading

Last week I wrote the scariest story ever told for everyone’s Halloween enjoyment. While it received plenty of accolades and is currently being made into an audiobook, some of my fans complained that it was too long for them to … Continue reading

Posted in america, comics, Current Events, Dark Humor, halloween, humor, Internet Culture, stories | Tagged , , , , , | 27 Comments

The SCARIEST Story EVER Told

DISCLAIMER: This is an incredibly scary story to be read by adults only. If you are a child please ask your parents before reading this very spooky tale. It is not intended for people with weak hearts or epilepsy.  TRIGGER … Continue reading

Posted in Dark Humor, friendship, halloween, humor | Tagged , , , , | 25 Comments

These 15 Photos Of Cosplayers Revealing That They Aren’t Unemployed Virgins Or Child Molesters “Might Blow Your Mind”

A popular internet content aggregator asked some of the “best cosplayers of New York Comic Con” to reveal what they did with their days and none of them confessed to jerking off to anime and steampunk all day or spending … Continue reading

Posted in america, art, comics, Current Events, Dark Humor, humor, Internet Culture, society, style | Tagged , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

The Nexus Of Magic: A Real Place I Walked To

The other day I visited the most magical place in the world by accident. It exists at sunset between the Triborough and Hell Gate Bridges in the northern most tip of Queens, New York. There, decades of broken glass litter … Continue reading

Posted in america, Current Events, friendship, Life, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Take This, Society.

That ought to rattle a few cages.

Posted in art, humor, society | Tagged , , , | 9 Comments

Police Stopped Climate Change… Protesters From Protesting.

Over the weekend nearly half of a million people peacefully marched down Sixth Avenue through Midtown Manhattan hoping to make the correct amount of noise required to convince corrupt decision-makers and science-ignorant mongoloids to stop ignoring that climate change was … Continue reading

Posted in america, Current Events, friendship, Life, politics, science, society, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Fond Look Back: Vomit And Strip Clubs

My first time at a strip club was when I was seventeen. My friend’s older brother was a DJ for such an establishment and thought it would be an important passage into manhood for us. I had previously been in … Continue reading

Posted in Dark Humor, friendship, history, humor, Life, religion, stories, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

The Hiatus Has Ended

Image | Posted on | 11 Comments