A popular internet content aggregator asked some of the “best cosplayers of New York Comic Con” to reveal what they did with their days and none of them confessed to jerking off to anime and steampunk all day or spending endless hours arguing online with strangers while updating their Facebook statuses relentlessly. Despite the original article’s authors reassuring me that the results might just blow my mind, these people (who spent an entire non-Halloween day dressed like things they like) all have really boring sounding jobs. Some people might say that this is one of the laziest and pathetic concepts for an article imaginable but experts know that it has received half a million views on its very first day and that its co-authors have already written nearly one-thousand published articles each. Take that, haters.
1. I looked up what this was and this woman is either a high ranking UN official in a foreign country or is in charge of college students moving into dorms. Either way it’s outrageous that she’s dressed up as Ms. Marvel!
This one was so intensely unbelievable that the photographer actually left it slightly out of focus. But this woman is actually a student when she’s not spending part of her day dressed like a character from, I’m guessing, Game of Thrones or some stupid vampire-themed anime.
This guy went as someone who is really into the number three but he is actually a stay at home dad who is just ashamed of that enough to need to include that he is also an author.
7.I almost refused to believe that someone dressed so extravagantly could possibly be a legal assistant but then I had to because she was holding a sign that indicated as much. This photo taught me that you can’t always judge a book by its cover and that the photographer didn’t cover a lot of ground or do more than five minutes of work because I can clearly see Ms. Marvel from the first picture in the background.
8.Does anybody know which longhaired character wears hoop-earrings and dresses in an open plaid shirt with their large purse laid carefully in front of them? This woman is probably doing the best cosplay in the world of whoever that is.
9. Since we had one already, you might be a little surprised to see another person that is a student. Well you had better believe that this female Thor is 100% committed to scholarly pursuits when she isn’t fighting Loki and eating thunder or whatever.
10.More students?! Outrageous. Who could have ever imagined that there would be so many? Not BuzzFeed, that’s for sure. These three are dressed up as an incomplete American flag or maybe the Andrews Sisters if one of them didn’t realize they were supposed to work a USO tour that day.
11.I thought that cosplaying meant you had to get all costumed up as a character. This guy is basically dolled up as himself in stockings and hot pants. Since “the man that rapes me in my nightmares” isn’t technically a profession, he had to write that he was a psychologist because he loves getting into people’s heads.
15.This man came as the big version of the Little Mermaid and didn’t write “future sex partner to the luckiest man or woman on earth” because he’s a class act. Whatever council he’s on is very lucky to have him.
All photos of “New York’s best cosplayers” are courtesy of BuzzFeed’s Ryan Broderick and more can be found at his awful BuzzFeed article that contains 621 fewer words in it than mine does.