An Open Letter to the People in Charge

Dear Oligarchy,

It’s been a long time coming but I think people are finally starting to catch on to all of your bullshit. The public trust in you is beginning to collapse like those cheap umbrellas you produce in China for pennies and then sell here for eight dollars when it rains and I’m forced to buy it because didn’t have the foresight to bring my own. One more strong gust of lucidity and I’m convinced the traditional belief that you know best is going to flip inside out.

We are learning that simply being in charge doesn’t necessarily qualify you to make the best decisions. In fact you’ve made a lot of really poor choices throughout history. Even though you tried to blame things like the Crusades and the Holocaust on a few bad apples, we know that it takes a lot of cooperation to accomplish nightmares of such scale and grandeur. You have been hard at work ruining things for thousands of years, albeit often with the best of intentions.



But you don’t really know what is best for people and you need to come to terms with that. I understand that having a lot of money and power makes you think you might have it all sussed out, especially with all of the “yes sir” and “yes ma’am” you probably hear on a daily basis. It is probably difficult to have an objective view of oneself when your purebred butler puts your pants on two-legs at a time before your private chef makes you the world’s last dodo egg for breakfast. However, consider taking a step back and pausing for a long hard look in the floor-to-ceiling diamond encrusted mirror. Isn’t there a chance that you might be just as scared and stupid as the rest of humanity?

Why do you want to run the world anyway? Have you ever thought about that? Isn’t it kind of strange how much control you already have and how firmly you feel a need to keep hold of it? I’ve seen spoiled children less selfish with their favorite toy than you are with everything. You could be spending your time and money in so many more productive and enjoyable ways. Did you know that cancer still needs to be cured? There are also kids that need better access to education and entire countries of poor people. Even if you didn’t want to have some great cause, you could just enjoy yourself without screwing up everyone else’s good time. Richard Branson seems happy going on adventures, breaking world records,  being a humanitarian, and is a genuinely likable billionaire. He still has influence, he still avoids paying taxes, but people don’t hate his guts. Taking that into consideration, what kind of rich person do you want to be? It might be better to be a fun loving philanthropist instead of an clueless oligarch.



Listen, I know that you are not all anthropomorphic excrement oozing around the gilded corridors of your mansion while scheming about becoming more profitable and powerful through the the ruination of your fiefdom. I know that the worst of you don’t even realize what absolutely selfish and amoral garbage water you’ve become. Oligarchies are complex and multifaceted organizations of plutocrats, many of which are completely disconnected from reality.

In the end, it really is our fault for letting you get so out of hand. We have bought into your propaganda and allowed you to proselytize yourselves and your products nearly unchecked for far too long. We can sort of see that now. Your role in our governing bodies have held back the progress of our societies while also stripping us of some of our rights as citizens. You have made it very clear that things are changing fast and you really don’t have a taste for it. We know that you’ve softened with the times as much as you could, and even tried to evolve with the rest of humanity, but I think we’ve outgrown you. We cannot keep giving you our money to fritter away simply because you are deemed important. We cannot trust your judgement when you attempt to block our very rights to question it. We’ve changed a lot since the days of yore and it’s time we moved on. Not all of us are happy watching reality television or willing to take it lying down. It’s too late. You cannot be in charge anymore. Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.


You Monsters Are People

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30 Responses to An Open Letter to the People in Charge

  1. They act like being unemployed is some sort of “inconvenience”. 70% Americans that even have job live paycheck to paycheck.

    • CJ Vali says:

      I spent 7 years in the military to pay for college. It took me almost 2 years after my honorable discharge to get a job. Now I have a degree and a job in my field, and I’m one of that 70%. And no, I can’t afford health insurance. I’m glad I don’t have a family to support. I guess those who haven’t been in those shoes can’t empathize with anyone living in those shoes, so they think those that do are commies.

  2. prenin says:

    We’ve got a government that sees the unemployed as criminals that have to be hounded and starved into work and everyone who is sucking on the government money teat as parasites.

    They need more homes, so they penalise everyone in social housing for having an extra bedroom.

    If EVER there was a reason not to vote Conservative it’s right here, right now…

    God Bless!


  3. The interesting thing is unused potential of the masses to overthrow, or at least to more strongly sway, this persistent selfish oligarchy. Why would 99% of the population let their best interests get whisked away by a greedy small group? I think the best answer is carefully planned psychological duping. When examining the emergence of 20th century marketing, you find characters such as Edward Bernays. Bernays was Sigmund Freud’s American nephew, who created pro American propaganda during WWI, and then went on to apply his expertise to marketing and political campaigns. Essentially he still made propaganda, but he coined the term “council on public relations” to make the practice sound more benign. Like his uncle, Bernays believed that democracies created a dangerous context, where the masses irrational drives could lead to detrimental outcomes. Thus, in the age of mass democracy, where progressivism broke down an age old social deference to upper class opinions, the aristocracy must lead a bewildered herd through public relations and consumerism. Bernays called his PR ideology “engineering consent.” The crux of this formula is the illusion of choice, where the masses think that they enact their own opinions, but instead they are intensively led by propaganda. I believe that the oligarchy today still adheres to Bernays’ perspective of a dangerous democracy that an aristocracy must lead.

  4. I can’t wrought the same hilarious and complex ironies that you do (I’m liking how you’ve summed up how Branson perplexing comes out sunny side up Robin Hood style though!). I do find it breathtaking that American politicians always seem to be telling the rest of the world how to run their countries…..and then can’t get their own house in order! One GFC not enough for us? well thanks team USA for having the global markets shaking like shitting dogs again right now!! BTW I would love your take on two of Australia’s richest…….Gina Rinehart and, god help us, Clive Palmer UNITED, who not only installs life sized T-Rex replicas on one of the most pristine golf courses in the world, wants to rebuild the Titanic but now also has several seats (for each of his cheeks presumably) in our parliament……..I’m desperate for something from you to fill the gap left by the cat diary and a Clive cartoon strip may just do it………..just be thankful you don’t have a Clive in your Senate; he fielded a candidate in our electorate with the name: John Wayne, I shit you not, political cowboys the world over!!!

  5. Soul Walker says:

    They are mostly all a disgrace. The finger-pointing and jockeying for position and power is out of hand. Branson looks like a freaking saint right now.

  6. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Damn marvelous post. Damn disgusting place we’ve come to in this country. It’s well past time to impose term limits on these career politicians. They can find jobs at used car lots easily.

  7. Sometimes I wish I could burst in to flames or have my head explode without bodily damage or pain, because it’s the only way to express how I feel about something. The state of American government is one.

    People always think I’m kidding when I say I don’t believe in democracy. I don’t have a better idea, but this can’t be the best we can do, can it? Somebody chosen by 20% of the population based on their ability to run the most commercials and promise that they’re “a Washington outsider”?

    • oldchazz says:

      the sad part is that so many people buy into the propaganda. by the time Romney ran for president he had been reincarnated into a murderer, who delighted in unemployment and transferring wealth to the 1%. then the masses reelected a man with, actual dead bodies on his account (brian terry) a history of lies and transferring wealth to the 1%.

  8. Jizz Biz says:

    Kill people, burn shit, fuck school.

  9. TamrahJo says:

    Reblogged this on The Good, Bad and Ludicrous and commented:
    Right on the Money!

  10. CJ Vali says:

    One thing that gets me is I keep hearing this word “base” being used, like “Ted Cruz is appealing to his base,” while he’s trying to screw everyone else. I thought being a US (emphasis on the ‘US’) Senator or Congressman meant you were supposed to look out for the good of the country, not the right-wing nutjobs (unfortunately, like my dad as of a couple years ago) who make up like, 5% of the country. I hope people remember this, and not forget about it in 2 weeks like they do with everything else. I wish this had happened closer to election time so that wouldn’t happen.

  11. Sadly, come next November most of those politicians will probably be reelected anyways.

  12. Aussa Lorens says:

    Oddly enough this is one of the most insightful commentaries I’ve probably found on the topic.

  13. Anna says:

    ‘If… History… presents us with lessons to be learnt, I have yet to see an example of anyone paying attention in class’, J. H. Arnold.

    (I wuz gonna steal this for myself, but then thought that might be slightly immoral. Slightly.)

  14. Reblogged this on The Shay Get-Away and commented:
    This is hilarious, yet so true. I’ve been trying to get this across but I don’t think anyone can write a topic as serious as this one and make it funny at the same time.

  15. howwwwooowww…. Dirty Politics is all I can say… :)

  16. Reblogged this on Rational Opinions Blog and commented:
    I agree wholeheartedly. These people can’t relate to “common people”, yet they think they know what is best for everyone else. All they want is to get more money, more power, and more influence. At what point do they finally “have enough”. I don’t begrudge anyone for being successful or becoming rich, but can you not utilize your influence and/or money to help better our world. I’m sure somewhere along the line you got a helping hand when you needed it.

  17. Crystal says:

    Awesome words!!

  18. marthamckie says:

    These people who want all this money are just too expensive. I say let ’em move away. They need to cream too much off of the top to keep themselves from whining. In fact, they’ve got all the money and they’re still whining. We all have to stop thinking what rich people think is cool is cool. It isn’t cool at all. They’re messing it up for everybody not just today, but way into the future. Thank You Monsters Are People for pointing this out so effectively.

  19. Rick says:

    The Oligarchies given birth by “evangelist” who have televisions cameras have to be among some of the BIGGEST MONSTERS OUT THERE. Even as I write or you read, they are continuing to take advantage of the most vulnerable people with electricity and a tv, by devilishly playing to their greatest vulnerabilities: the fear of going to hell in a hand bag; the fear of going to hell via any means; the fear of nearly all other people; the fear of being alone; the fear of going outside; the fear of not becoming personally rich like they say God wants for them, by not continuing to help the televangelist and their entourages maintain their lavish lifestyles. I once heard one of these guys speak live; at least he appeared to be in human form in a Civic Center full of believers, not counting me! He told a clever story that doesn’t even have roots in a Reader’s Digest Children’s Bible. The main message wasn’t even thinly veiled! He told us would-be pigeons that whatever we gave God in this life time, we would receive back from God a hundred times more of the same stuff in this same life. That’s right; put in a fiver (O ye of little faith) and you shall receive back from God, prior to physical death, $500. I have to admit this touring televangelist was a great advertisement for this scam. Surely this has to be FRAUD! He proclaimed that he had lived by this principle; while also mentioning he a flown his own plane into town from where he lives in a mansion, that God often talks to him directly while he’s flying (I assume the altitude boost makes a difference), he and his wife really did own all the flashy diamonds we could see even from the back rows and that they hadn’t had to wear off-the-rack clothing in years. But the thing that made me down right mad, causing me to shot out “Bull” while others shouted “Amen,” was when he clearly implied that the way to give God cash was to put it in the big buckets his handlers were now passing throughout the Civic Center. But then he took it a step farther and I seriously considered storming the stage to try to stand by him and shout “B.S.” in its unabbreviated form. Fortunately my wife held me back. Big people wearing tee shirts labeled “SECURITY” would have just taken me away; likely in an unpleasant manner to an unpleasant place to further face an unpleasant future. So this Oligarch is still out there ripping off mostly the poor; you can make a hell of livin’ just ripping off the poor if you really get your numbers up there by tellin’ a good story and being able to act out fake fear at an Oscar winning level. And finally, as someone has said in so many words, once one has mastered the act of counterfeiting sincerity you can steal real money from about anyone… and some will even just give it to you – send you a check postage-paid. I don’t even know how many televangelist could be ranked over against many politicians on the Oligarchy scale. Perhaps both groups are Incomparable Oligarchs!

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