Life Is Meaningless… Unless It Includes A Free Hat Giveaway

Are you a fan of You Monsters Are People but still feel like a worthless human being because you’ve never done anything to support it? Have you wanted to help out but just aren’t an altruistic enough person? Do you need some form of incentive to do anything? You are in luck!

My good friend Chloe, from Chloe Hearts Owls, fashioned a hand made You Monsters Are People beanie hat and I’m giving it away to a random fan. I have personally approved this hat as “100% wearable.” As a bonus, I will include several skin cells and a hair or two from when I tried it on! I’ll also throw in an original printed booklet of some of my earliest works with something special scribbled inside just for you. Runners up will get that same ancient black and white copy of my writing and a few stickers to put on parked police cars.

All you need to do is promote You Monsters Are People by linking to the website and including the hashtag (which we used to just call a pound sign) #YouMonstersArePeople. Make sure that you make the posting public and are following on Facebook or Twitter to ensure your entry is easy for me to find (because I am not about to make this a lot of extra work for myself).


As long as you follow the above guidelines, you can write basically whatever you want. But if you want some help, here are a few examples that you can copy and paste right into Facebook or Twitter:

  • once made me laugh so hard that I blew out my prostate AND I LOVED IT. #YouMonstersArePeople
  • I’m going to kill your friends and family members if you don’t check out right away. #YouMonstersArePeople
  • made me laugh until I had a brain aneurysm and died. #YouMonstersArePeople
  • I’m going to maybe get a free hat from #YouMonstersArePeople and you can too if you share this. #FreeHat
  • My mom hits me and I need someone to call Child Protective Services. Go to #YouMonstersArePeople
  • Life is meaningless… unless you visit and get a free hat! #YouMonstersArePeople


But enough about what you should say, let’s get to that marvelous hat you are all coveting. First of all it’s geared towards normal-sized heads but can stretch to suit slightly larger craniums. If your noggin circumference is approaching Elephant Man status though, this might not be the hat for you. It is also entirely hand knit “grandma style” from an acrylic and wool blend. That means it’ll keep you warm on cold days but also remain comfortable on the warmer ones without getting itchy. That is not, however, an endorsement to wear this thing on the hottest day of the year like some kind of idiot.

The giveaway starts immediately and ends June 23rd (you can enter as many times as you want in that period). I’ll be keeping track until that date, when I will randomly pick the winners. Deliver a clever quip, link to your favorite article, link to your most hated article, or simply explain that you’re in this for the free hat. Just make sure that you do it before midnight on June 23rd.

About You Monsters Are People

Wisdom, wonderment and weird for everyone.
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24 Responses to Life Is Meaningless… Unless It Includes A Free Hat Giveaway

  1. I must admit I do make a pretty wearable hat.

  2. Reblogged this on chloe hearts owls and commented:
    I hooked up with Matt Posky of You Monsters Are People to create an original hat for his giveaway.

  3. prenin says:

    Does it come with a tinfoil liner to keep out the HAARP mind control rays???

    God Bless!


  4. Amy says:

    I want this hat really fucking bad but don’t have a twitter! (and refuse to get a twitter)

  5. Hammer says:

    I don’t owe you beans.
    And I can’t hash tag, because I smoke hash once I see it.

    So here’s my address:

    10554 SE main #308
    Milwaukie, OR 97222

    A. Harrison NMN

    You know you wanna send it to a punk. I’m punkworthy.

    • Hammer says:

      Actually, I’m Andrew Harrison
      Won’t you be my friend for life?

      • Hammer says:

        Oh oh
        I’m so lonely.
        A hat would be my head’s friend. Do I need to delouse it and beat it with a bat first?

        Aw, you’ll probably give the hat to a girl.

        Gimme gimme
        Gimme gimme
        Gimme ahat
        Yasar araphat whoops
        I mean gimme gimme
        Gimme me me me me me



        Ah forghet iht
        Hatlly do dee dah

  6. If i do this, do you promise to post more frequently than you do now?

  7. mariobm10 says:

    Hats suck anyway!

  8. lindamerja says:

    Shared it on my facebook with the hashtag, so I think you can see the post by clicking the hashtag, right? I fucking suck at hashtags and how they work xD

  9. jen says:

    do we have to comment here the link to out fb or twitter post?

  10. Pingback: Unhappily Returning From Vacation | You Monsters Are People.

  11. hiimlucy says:

    i’m so fucking pissed that i missed this.

    please tell me your friend will be making more for money?

    please just take my money and give me a beanie. please.

Comments are closed.