How To Prepare For The Day: Don’t

Despite our best efforts, it is exceedingly difficult to prepare for the day. Outside of being hungry, there are no guarantees of what the coming hours might bring. Literally anything could happen to you once you’re out in the big bad world. Statistically, you’re not in a whole lot of danger but, since you can’t control your environment, it certainly feels incredibly dangerous. You could get rained on, not given the correct change, hit by a bus or a homeless person could talk dirty to you. These things happen to people every day and that’s why leaving the house can feel somewhat terrifying. I think it’s a miracle that most people can subject themselves to the local news and still find the strength to venture outside.

Despite all the negative hype, it actually does feel better to go out into the world than to cloister yourself away and hone a developing mental illness. It might force you to confront the occasional danger but, I’m starting to think that it’s all the danger that makes life so good. Last week I was barked at by a person, and not a dog, on the street. After the initial shock I felt really good but there was a moment of confused dread that had to subside first. Adding the element of crazy unpredictable risk makes almost everything better. Unprotected sex, landing on the moon, smoking, motorcycles and burning things are all cool because they’re dangerous and, with the exception of landing on the moon, they’ve all played important roles in my life.

As individuals we sort of instinctively avoid danger, and while this has helped us maintain a stable society it has also made it a little dull. Don’t you sometimes feel like life should be all exotic animals in capes and sparkly sounding music instead of paperwork and mundane small talk? Aren’t you sick of putting your dreams on hold while you waste another afternoon cleaning up another person’s mess while they continue to brown nose their way to the top? The obvious solution is to buy a lynx, dress it up in a cape and release it in that person’s office and I would make that recommendation were there not specific situations where certain complications can arise. But such is the case of dressing up a dangerous predator and using it to commit a felony.

You know, in the times before recorded history, you settled a disagreement by eating the other person. This fact has been well documented in prehistoric literature. However, when an argument crops up today, you have to hold a meeting with a third party present and submit a bunch of forms in this bizarre bureaucratic tea party. It’s all supposedly done to keep everyone civil and safe but I would argue that it’s the lack of direct consequences that allow people to continue treating each other like garbage. Someone in my neighborhood has very a large dog with perpetual mid-grade diarrhea. I know this because there have been growing number of mounds with a napkin laid daintily on top as if to say, “an effort was made here and now it’s your problem” near my residence. I feel like that’s a pretty good metaphor for a lot of people’s lives. Instead of cleaning up our shit, we’re just covering it up with napkins and nobody is slapping us around for doing it. It sort of makes me wonder why we even bother. Day after day many of us wake up and make the choice to actively participate in a fairly lackluster shared existence and some people don’t even have the good sense to act outraged.

It doesn’t have to be all rainbows and slam-dunks but it doesn’t hurt to throw a few of those things in there if you find your life lacking. As human beings, we are probably supposed to suffer a little but we aren’t supposed to languish all the time and we definitely aren’t supposed to exist in a joyless emotional stasis. So opt out of your current mediocrity, reach a little higher and fall a little further so you can have a few dreams come true in conjunction with whatever waking nightmare you might currently exist in. Don’t tress about the day or spend every second trying to fuss out the details, it isn’t going to help you unless you’re suffering from crippling OCD. Just spend a little more of your time doing what you love and striving for what you want and a lot less preparing for the worst.

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About You Monsters Are People

Wisdom, wonderment and weird for everyone.
This entry was posted in Dark Humor, humor, Life, motorcycles, musings, pets, society, true stories, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to How To Prepare For The Day: Don’t

  1. prenin says:

    Damned right! :)

    Did you hear of the homeopathiest who died of nothing?

    No matter what we do we’re gonna die, so why worry? :)

    We have dogs that do big dumps that, by law, the owner is supposed to clean up, we even provide free baggies to do the job with, yet it still happens…

    You need to get out regularly or you turn into a fossil – I don’t get out enough, but then I have nowhere to go apart from church as I’ve given up alcohol! :)

    Have a great week!

    Prenin.

    • There are more places to go than to church and bars! You can venture out to sight see or grab a bite. Even a long walk around the area is nice.

      As always, it’s good to hear from you, Prenin. Your positivity is your greatest asset.

      Enjoy your week too.

  2. gingerjudgesyou says:

    I hate that people don’t get slapped around for shit!

  3. UndercoverL says:

    Re: Dog Poop. I would advise you in the same way I advised my sons when they found a neighbor dog befouling their property: Scoop it into a bag and leave it on the door step. They did that twice, and the dog has not used their lawn every since. Must not be fun to bring a lunch-bag full of dog doo into the kitchen. ;)
    I agree. People ought to be slapped. A lot.

    • I live in the city so it’d be pretty difficult to track down who it is without some serious undercover work being done. Even still, I couldn’t leave it on their doorstep without endangering the shoes of the innocent.

      • UndercoverL says:

        So, are you saying you aren’t innocent, so it’s okay that your shoes are in danger? Also, if it’s in a bag, no one’s shoes are in immediate danger… that is, unless they start tap dancing on a paper bag, but in my humble opinion, if someone likes tap dancing on hapless paper bags, they deserve poopy shoes.

  4. Pingback: How To Prepare For The Day……… Don’t « the life you live is a CHOICE

  5. TJ Kelly says:

    This is a fantastic insight into the lackings of society today. More spontaneity and ventures to the outside!
    I have to say, i’m a fan of the comics. Self drawn?

  6. You put this better than I ever could, This is why I sold everything I owned and moved halfway across the world :)

    chickenabouttown.wordpress.com

  7. Too funny and true. I enjoy all your posts, but I’m really jonesing for a bonus installment of The Cat Lover’s Diary!

  8. Excellent, Matt. In the old days (even before my time) there used to be public shaming in the form of stocks. Those should be brought back. People would gather in the town square and throw lumps of something at the person and deride him/her for their failings. Unfortunately, shame doesn’t work as well now. The only way to really prepare for the day is to get dressed and brush your teeth. That’s all you can do.

    • Public stocks sound like a good idea in theory but how would we decide what crimes are worth it? Besides aren’t we just giving everyone a single target to take out all of their on self-hate on?

      • Yes, I guess you are right, Matt. It would be very unpleasant to watch someone get dog poo thrown at them. Do you think posting criminal’s faces on the internet or at least in the paper does any good? Probably not as they are the least likely to see them.

      • I do but I hope that sort of thing would remain specifically for sexual predators and exceptionally dangerous people. I’d hate to see non-violent offenders being subjugated just because they can be easily looked up on a database. I’ve found that people, even people who are guilty of the same behavior, will go out of their way to look down on someone who was caught.

  9. Marquail Darpoh says:

    Someone who I believed to be a crackhead threw a rock at the back of my head this fine morning. This was all because I refused to give him a cigarette. I have the pleasure of seeing this guy everyday wandering my neighborhood. I wonder what tomorrow will bring? Hopefully not a bigger rock.

  10. drawandshoot says:

    Hi Posky,
    You have captured the essence of news-watching perfectly. Less is definitely more (than enough).
    Do what you love, you never know where it will take you.
    x

    • I agree. I’d like to live in a world where I I’m treated like an intelligent adult and not someone that can be conned into watching the occasional bit of information sandwiched between fear-mongering and commercials.

  11. Love it, your humour really is good and healthy! Thanks for dropping by…

  12. Soul Walker says:

    “Well documented in prehistoric literature,” is a hysterical turn of phrase. Bravo sir, bravo.

  13. Hey, just to let you know I have nominated you for the Versatile blogger award :)
    http://savedindrafts.wordpress.com/2013/01/30/versatile-blogger-award/

  14. Gina Marie says:

    “An effort was made here and now it’s your problem.” (Haha, love it.)
    Speaking of which, I nominated you for the Blog on Fire Award. And now that’s your problem. ;-)
    http://iridescently.wordpress.com/2012/12/30/version-2-0/

  15. Pingback: PEDOPHILIA: Not Always Funny « the life you live is a CHOICE

  16. Pingback: How To Prepare For The Day: Don’t | Bougainvillea Bijoux

  17. Mirabai says:

    He, he, super comics! In Europe we have now the 2 clown comedy in Italy, as you maybe did hear in the news. That was/is good input for comic paintings as well…. ;-)

  18. Val says:

    Your blog is good, so I’m following. But heck, the only place I get this sense of doom on a daily basis is the internet. Where I live (Wales, UK) people are far more laid back. Maybe you should move?

    I take ‘net breaks. It’s the only way I can save my sanity.

  19. You have an amazing cable–we can’t get 666 in ours at all. Or is that the TV?

    In another note, how did Burning Things become pivotal in your life? Do you eat the souls of whatever those things you burned?

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