There is something wrong with the world we live in, subtly wrong. People, people everywhere, are ignoring the important things because they are lazy or afraid. I wonder if this is why so many people are so vastly unhappy so much of the time. It would seem that if we were willing to expend a bit more effort and take a few more risks, we would all fare better. But the world, and a lot of the people in it, have convinced many of us that something dangerous or difficult should be avoided. Why? It’s not like there is anything better to do. I’ve been told for years that riding a motorcycle is perilous. Of course it is, but it is also an experience worth having and one I wouldn’t trade for anything. A lot of things are like that for me, most especially people, creativity and humor.
Still, protecting ourselves is human nature. Nobody wants to be killed, lose all of their money or have their heart broken. I would be a liar if I said I did not keep a lot of things to myself and withhold parts of myself in order to maintain some sovereignty. But we, I, all go too far sometimes. If you go far enough, you end up being that creepy shut in with the neighbors that whisper about how angry you seem and speculate on why your breath is always so bad. Angry hermits only work in kung-fu movies, because they always end up being some secret master from the past. In real life, they’d probably just get eaten by their cats after dying alone in their apartment- and that would be the most exciting thing that ever happens to them. There is no great reward for always playing it safe. The man that chooses the easiest and protected route is, without question, going to have the most bland and uneventful ride. Yet people do exactly that with work, friendship and love all of the time. It’s terrible and when I want to just tell people how they could have so much more if they were willing to stretch their arms a little, I stop myself.
I suppose this is because there is rarely anything profitable about being genuine. But the real embarrassment of it is, if you are being genuine, you probably couldn’t help it anyway. Earnestness is like a disease and humanity is some sort of tongue-in-cheek joke. Shirk any responsibility that you feel you may have to another person and you’ll fare better. But there is still that chance that you are going to regret it and hate yourself for it. I am sure there is some psychological reason for doing this, but I would have no idea of what it is. Not everything makes sense and not everything has to, I suppose. There is no sense in being a pessimist about this and give terrible advice like, “abandon people.”
Advice is odd. Someone once told me that you should never let a problem to be solved become more important than the person to be loved. That’s really good advice but, like most advice, I doubt if it is ever taken seriously by people. Maybe it’s not even supposed to be. Hopefully we can all just remember that we are each looking out from our own fleshy little prisons onto a world that is sometimes unfriendly.
Life is hard, and mine has been from time to time and I’ve loved it for that reason. I’ve wonderful stories of adventure, hurt, comedy and chaos. The same goes for the things I have done and the people I’ve allied myself with. Having something you reached for is far greater than something that just fell into your lap. It isn’t because it is better, it’s because you’ll value it more.
You Monsters Are People. 
What a wonderful post, Posky. I love your outlook, and indeed pretty much share it. I have taken some pretty big risks in life and in love, and while I have some regrets, I also have some spectacular memories.
Love people. What harm can it do?
A lot if you love everyone and don’t exercise some caution but there is no reward for being a total ass either.
Either way, I just don’t want people existing in an unconsciously-selfish bubble where the most important things they do this month is purchase a table cloth that “really goes with” their new plates.
I’m glad you liked the post.
Hmm…very thought-provoking.
Gosh Posky, I never realized you were so ….deep.
This comes at a very appropriate time because I am ready to launch a business idea that I’ve wanted to do for years, but I’m just too chicken sh*t to risk some money (and risk losing face if it fails).
I’ll have to read your post over and over to grow some. Thanks.
Even if you fail, you’ll have alleviated the issue of feeling like you should have tried but never did.
Lovely post. I was always the one living on the “safe side” until I lost my job. That pushed me to start a business with friends. Now, we still don’t live off it, but we’re super happy. Plus, I’ve started to take risks I never thought I’d be able to. I’m loving my life right now. What I’m trying to say is, some of us have to be pushed.
This is funny and thought-provoking at the same time. My dear young friend, you have an old wise soul. (Please take this as the most sincere compliment!) LOL @ how hermit only works in old kung fu movies. I think the rule should be: if you want to be a hermit, you’d better know how to catch a fly with chopsticks.
I have a friend like that and it seems to work for him.. but how long can he keep that up without turning into a creepy old man?
I’m an old wise soul?
Spot on, Mister Posky, well said.
Thanks Cindy.
We have been raised to take the easy route in our lives, and now it seems its time to pay the check. When shit goes wrong, we all say to ourselves “why did this happen?”, like we’re surprised bad things happen to us. I know this is coming far from the out fields, but I take a page from Zoroaster: Good thoughts, good words, and good actions. Surround yourself with good people and do good, and you will find that you can weather the storms of life.
Spot on! When we are unwilling to risk anything . . . we risk everything.
Two quick fixes (1st & 3rd paragraphs):
* take a few more risks, we would all fair better. ~ fare
* you may have to another person and you’ll fair better. ~ fare
I’ve been missing a lot of sleep. Thanks for the assist, Nancy.
Clever as ever. Thx. U r respectful of your readers in that u write w enough consideration to keep it so entertaining combined w mediative thought.
Yes you must reach outside of yourself and defy mediocrity. But so many are enslaved by work and family responsibilities. It does not matter. Each can find something to reach for. A painting, some writing, some volunteer work, acts of kindness(in very high demand these days) and other common deeds are more beneficial than the deeds of Napoleon or Caesar. I have done things and lead and reached and have had success and reward as well as failure and crushing defeat. But most people are at the arena. In the seats. I have been IN the arena. Quite a difference in those two prepositions, in and at.
Again, you always throw me a surprising curveball that I always really enjoy. I’m glad you keep reading and commenting, Carl.
Just like you do-gooders to rain on my parade of wanting to color-coordinate my kitchen.
I’m for everyone having the kitchen that they want, but I’d hate to see that consume their life.
Another delicious post. Funny how one woman’s (man’s) “monster” is another’s treasure…
As for risk-taking, agreed. Part of life, and all for the semi-calculated risks, myself.
really nicely said
Me too but I sometimes splurge and enjoy something crazy (regret free).
Actually, they’ve been some of my best decisions.
Sir Posky,
Though I have not often commented, and though the hour is late and my words a bit garbled, I wanted to tell you that I very much liked this post. What you say is true, and while generally speaking, I am a “reserved” sort of personality, I know that my life’s best relationships are those which I tried very, very hard to build.
Effort has spelled all the difference between being a nice guy who’d do anything for someone and being the quiet guy who others ignore because there’s always some grim expression or a pair of headphones in the way …
The profitability of being genuine is indeed slim, if only due to the unrequited nature of most human communication. I have found that my own earnestness is lost in the shuffle of the day to day gossip of others. Because so few are earnest, the quality is badly filtered through the running monologues and dialogues that pollute most environments and stifle most true conversations.
It’s a killer battle to get through to anyone. Or, as regards one’s own endeavors, to find wonderment, success and/or satisfaction. But it’s worthwhile.
Thank you for this post.
Thank you for this response. Garbled, or not, you got a valid and important point across. Someone got awfully thoughtful.
I think it was both of us. What a pair of nerds.
What a great post. I agree with you. We have to take the risks because in the end, that is what mattered. Love that you used the motorcycle as an example – people guard far too much in relationships too.
I have plenty to say on all three of those topics but I’ll abstain.
I like, “…in the end, that is what mattered.” I hope that turns out to be true.
I can understand why people hide behind blandness. I think, for some, reaching for happiness is a notion they don’t want to entertain b/c that would mean they would have to change – and change is terrifying.
Agreed. However, every time I find myself flirting with hiding behind blandness, I get really unhappy.
Hey Matt,
Very poignant info here. Yes, get up and get out and live life so you don’t become cat food. Or if you do become cat food at least you’ll taste less bland to the cat.
BTW thanks for reading and responding to my post! Enjoying your blog!
Jerry
I’m glad to hear that. Feel free to share it if you think it’s worth sharing. I’ll always take free publicity.
Also, it would be an honor to be any animal’s food. I’ve sure eaten my share of living things- it’d be nice to give back.
deep thoughts with Posky …seriously, though, what a wonderful post, and it doees cause pause… I risk it everyday I take the road with my bike (think pedal, not motor) and I tell peeps that I realize my bike commute may be my last (say it all the time, drives ’em nuts, I say best you know the dice). That risk causes no worries…too bad I’m not as cavalier in other areas, not anymore… You know what, I shall just not buy any cats… lol!
For a long time, over a decade in fact, I did exactly what you described in this post. I played it safe, I shirked responsibility, I effectively gave up on life. Not in a suicidal sense (although those thoughts occurred to me) but more in a “not caring about a damn thing” sense. I even thought the words – “I give up.” I meant it, and that’s exactly what I did, and it drove me to the brink. I’ve come a long way since then, and I’m proud of myself for that, but that said I know I still play it safe, I still put things off, and I probably always will. I’m hopeful that eventually I’ll find a happy medium between playing it safe and putting myself out there, because either extreme seems unhealthy to me.
Goddamn it, I come here to make stupid comments, and you have to go and make me think? I’m no good at depth, I’m not tall enough!
Great title! Some nice insights, too.
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I agree, the best part of reaching for a goal is the journey, it will get rough at times, but it all teaches perseverance.
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There’s a contest for that?
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Arguably the best advice I’ve ever gotten from a friend is to tell the world my insecurities instead of hiding them, for once it’s out it eases the hell you carry. It’s been months since that advice and I’m starting to believe he’s right.
If anything we do in life is pointless in the bigger scheme of everything that was, is, will be–which it most probably is–then what could you lose if you take a few risks, right? Might as well have a few unique experiences before meeting the reaper. Make meaning. Or something.
Yes, earnestness is a disease. And yet I hope they don’t find the cure.
P.S. I’m really glad to find this post. It’s one of your bests.
No, I’m in total agreement with you.
And thanks for the kudos.