There is a distinct absence of class today. Back during what many refer to as in the day, if two parties had a disagreement, someone would have made a clever quip and then tap danced up a marble staircase. Chances are, they would have probably even taken you out for a fancy dinner to settle your differences so you could discuss the matter over coffee, tea, champagne or all three mixed together. If emotions were to run too high and an accord could not be reached, dueling rules were established. Fights never broke out randomly. Everyone took off their jacket before fisticuffs and took it outside and if they were already outside, they took it to the wilderness. Even domestic violence was classier. People only beat their own spouses and they usually exchanged gifts afterward. It was basically a paradise. There was a renaissance and then everybody stopped going to the bathroom in the streets and started using handkerchiefs. Of course there were exceptions to the rules, often in the form of toothless chambermaids and stable boys.
As time marched on, the general population gradually became more exposed to the rest of the world through increased literacy rates. Lewdness was coyly hinted at but rarely exposed outright. Then came radio, television and the Pandora’s box of the world wide web. These things turned a world full of handsome knowledgeable men who pursued gentlemanly conquests into a planet of hideous warmongering misers. Terrifying magic has been replaced with the dull stability of scientific reasoning and, all of a sudden, people are trying to give everyone access to free information. You can hardly even sit around without learning something these days. While this may sound all right, let me remind you that it was at the expense of sophistication. If you don’t believe me, try to imagine Gregory Peck checking his email or surfing around on an image board with his mouth open.
There are people out there that can’t live a normal life because they are addicted to pornography.
“Disgustingness” has evolved right along with humanity. In fact, it might even have outpaced us. If you’ve ever seen someone eating a turkey leg at a renaissance fair, you know exactly what I’m talking about. With the internet, we’ve turned abhorrence into a business and business is booming, although, like information and entertainment, online perversion is unlimited and mostly free of charge. That hasn’t stopped some people from spending nine-ninety-nine a month on it. This is because the easy access to it results in a decidedly swift desensitization. People yearn for a full-spectrum of emotional pain and cerebral sensationalism. The heinously bizarre is sought out, absorbed and sought out again. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. The problem arises when a person becomes incapable of putting themselves into a normal situation due to sensory overload and the inability to relate to real life. It isn’t their fault, it’s just the nature of the beast. It can be too much too fast too often. Before the internet, if you wanted the kind of mind-altering penetration at the same frequency, you would have had to go to the circus and pay everyone in the freak show to eat each other.
Do not mistake me. I like having instant access to something so horrifically bizarre that, if I showed it to a theater full of hardened criminals, they would be so dumbstruck that you could hear a rat pissing on a cotton ball. We should never ever take a gift that great away from ourselves. We just need to police ourselves a little better and, occasionally, use these tools to make ourselves better informed and more talented individuals. Remind yourself that, for every three videos of people crushing food with their armpits, there is probably a great article that can actually teach you something.