There is a time of night where weaker-minded of us fall victim to the darkest of super natural phenomena. A moment where thoughts and dreams are emptied out of the brain and replaced with the most primal fears and temporary insanity. The hypothalamus commands the body to make noise to scare away enemies and fashion weapons out of nearby objects. You wander, broken and mad, until an impending threat causes you to stand your ground or scurry away to safety.
If you wake up early enough, you can see the aftermath: Men in suits waking up on a park bench, the brokenhearted crying into their half-consumed Big Gulp® and Rums, disheveled prostitutes tottering home, patches of blood on the sidewalk, urine everywhere. It’s like catching the tail end of the saddest and scariest parade of all time, and it’s every single night. Nothing can stop it, nothing can curb it, and nothing can keep you from joining in when the time finally comes.
I also cannot recommend late-night grocery shopping highly enough if you’re seeking a similar experience with a lot less danger and doom.
It’s the same all over the world. I used to have to walk the streets very early over here in Ireland and see everything you described.
Oh and it’s Paul’s birthday so wish him well tonight
Loved that bit.
For the record, Paul had a great night.
Sounds like my house… erm…. most if the time.
I love this post. Curious – have you always lived in New York? I live in a town of less than 4000 people, with the biggest city I’ve lived in being Memphis, TN, so I can’t imagine the enormity of New York. Either way, there must be common themes everywhere as far as when the weirdos come out – the late night grocery shopping definitely brings them out around here :)
No. I originally am from the rust belt. New York is sizable no matter where you are from. I encourage any and all to come check it out however.
Even across the waters, in a small town in Australia, every night I hear a siren scream past and wonder, without pulling back at the curtain, if it is police, fire or ambulance. I called the police one night after waking up to the sound of a street fight and the policeman kept asking me questions like ‘what are they wearing?’, ‘is there a female present?’ etc and my response was: ‘I don’t know I just want to go back to sleep!” I love the ‘4.00 ever’ part! Great stuff!
I’ve called the police a few times and they’ve yet to show up to save the day. I don’t think that’s what they’re paid for anymore.
Yeah, I just feel lucky that I’m in the top half of the house.
Never done it, but witnessed it often! :)
I worry about what is walking past the screened windows – mountain lion? Bear? But I do have a hummingbird at the feeder and he lets his little droppings fall where they may. Loved you post on late night grocery shopping. I have seen those people, too, and personally know someone who would go home and blog about what fun the family had – with her hateful spouse.
I wonder what those people think of me too. After all, I’m technically one of them some nights.
That kicks such repeated butt that its good that butt wasn’t inked you kicked butt so high the ceiling would’ve been spotted with a Roer-Schrekk test of ass n’ ink blots. On the ceing butt kickingest. Did I say I liked it? You had me at “darkest”. That was great. Yeah, Walmart at nite dude pops his head in the john n’ sez, “Havin’ a nice shit? Apex inversion all the way.
Butt prints on the ceiling.
(That highly kicked ass)
If I ever have enough money to have an interior decorator. I’m going to require butt prints on the ceiling of my office.
All the worlds a stage…
This is one of my favorite posts, but I love them all. I nominated you for the WordPress Family Award: http://unsaidyetunderstood.wordpress.com/2013/06/01/a-nomination/