The Peace of Mind Want Ad

Last week I created a want ad seeking peace of mind and posted it on Craigslist as sort of a social experiment…



Here are some excerpts from a few of the responses I received over the weekend:

  • I hope you kill yourself, gaywad.

  • If you want peace of mind, I would suggest shutting up and going to the bar. Complaining on Craigslist isn’t going to help you.

  • Nobody is happy or has peace of mind… GET OVR IT.

  • youmonstersarepeople? what kind of stupid ass email address is that?

  • I’m sorry to hear that you are unhappy but remember that you aren’t alone. I’m looking for a job right now and coming across your ad reminded me that we are all just trying to make due. It’s scary and I hope that we both end up with a little peace of mind. Godbless you.

  • Queer.

  • I am offer lessons in meditation in Harlem.


  • Don’t join the military. that’s what I did and I regret it.

  • Here is a suggestion: Cram your entire fist into your own ass and then set yourself on fire.

  • Hello. I am in search of someone to help in tutoring my son, his name is Alexavier and he is 12 years old, will be coming to states for a visit. My family and myself are current in London, he’s in the 7th grade and am offering to pay $55/hr and the job will be for 8 hours in 2 weeks so get back to me with the total cost of your tutorial lessons.

    As regards to your payment, I want you to know that I will be paying via certified check for the payment of the tutorial and also will be sending some extra for the payment of the Nanny to take care of him while he’s there for the lesson. The nanny will be the one to bring him to you whenever he’s suppose to be with you and will also be the one to pick him up after every tutoring session.

    If you are okay with my terms and would like to proceed with the tutorial position I will like you to  kindly send your full contact information to receive the check so that payment can be sent out  to
    you on-time. Thanks and waiting to read from you. Kindly get back to me with your full info so as to issue out the payment as soon as possible. Please get back to me asap and i don’t want any delay at all.

    Full Name:
    Zip code:
    Contact Number:

    Please acknowledge the receipt of this email so that i can understand you got it.


I actually received a lot like that last one. Sometimes there were six or seven from the same person. People really need you to tutor their children or help out their family members in far off countries but haven’t quite figured out the methodology of using separate checks or their own credit cards yet. In the end, I feel like this was a learning experience.

About You Monsters Are People

Wisdom, wonderment and weird for everyone.
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60 Responses to The Peace of Mind Want Ad

  1. People… -_-

    Sorry, mate. It seems like I’m just as or more problematic than you. And I’m hating myself more because I’ve read every word of that last bot comment. (Or was that from a real person? Lord save us.)

  2. okay about the comments before the last one I will have to say, you had it coming. About the last comment the lesser I say the better .

  3. The Ziggurat says:

    Nobody is happy or has peace of mind… GET OVR IT.

    • I can’t seem to “get ovr it.”

      Maybe that’s my problem.

      • ...but what do wino? says:

        Someone told me the other day that my “problem,” is I’m too passionate about being depressed. Then I blacked out and woke up in jail. Jokes. I have always been envious of those who seem so oblivious but I also feel sad that some lack or fear the beauty of introspection. When did introspection become confused with being sad?

      • I don’t know but that last sentence made me fall in love with you.

  4. That last one is a scam for sure, Matt. Don’t take them up on it, no matter how lonely you are. Of course they want your SSN! I used to get these a lot on a former website. You want to laugh in their face but there is never a face or a real name. I like your ad. There is a real person there.

  5. mollytopia says:

    Ahhhhhh – I love your blog so much. Every time I see a post pop up it makes my day! That ad was genius. I can’t believe people actually replied – that’s amazing! I laughed out loud at
    ■youmonstersarepeople? what kind of stupid ass email address is that?
    Thanks for the laugh as always!

  6. Based on a few of the responses, apparently peace-seeking somehow relates to homosexuality. I think you should meditate in Harlem.

  7. responses like the last one are most likely fraudsters who need your address and social security number to steal identities or pretend to be resident in the states. Once they have that information they can fish for so much more information about you much easier. How do I know this – identity theft training. Who would question someone looking for tutoring for their preteen foreigner son?

  8. spamnelson says:

    The amount of people that were either rude or didn’t understand what you were asking for completely baffles me. Unfortunately it goes to show that a vast majority of people in the world are either cruel and hurtful, or are unable to understand basic concepts. I really liked how you did the experiment though and I think it was an excellent idea.

  9. UndercoverL says:

    You’re right: most people suck. You have to wonder what is wrong with the authors of some of those comments. Include their emails so we can cyber-bully them??? (Kidding, kidding.)

  10. thesprylife says:

    I was disappointed when I read the replies too, and felt that the world really is a scummy, cruel place. But, then I remembered that a lot of losers use Craigslist, because it’s free. Obviously, there are some smart, creative individuals that use it (you and me), but we’re in the minority.

  11. Gaywad……is that a new one?

  12. TamrahJo says:

    Well, I think this definitively answers the question, “Which is better, WordPress or Craigslist?”
    How sad on the responses, though “Regret Military” and “Me too – hope it gets better soon, for both of us” allow me to keep up hope for the human race..

  13. CJ Vali says:

    I second the military comment. I don’t necessarily regret it, but I definitely don’t recommend it to anyone anymore. I’m glad you at least got a couple realistic and heartfelt replies. It’s actually mildly surprising.

  14. People are extremely helpful. I would suggest making all these suggestions into a checklist and working your way through them one at a time. You might have to delete the more suicide-y ones though…

  15. syntaxsinner says:

    Last one about tutor job is Nigeria atypical scam to get you to cash a check. When you cash the check, you get cash but it bounces and you pay big time.

    I got that exact one and I responded,
    “Oh yes. I am so excited. Tell me more.”
    And I went on and on to make them read a lot of b.s. and then said, “There now! I just read your b.s. and you read mine. So kiss my ass. We are even.” Hahaha

    Anymore I delete them.
    I came across a house for rent.
    Same thing. Renting a house missionary out of country.

    Man dude, I have never met you, but I like and trust you more than my next door neighbor.
    So if you want a tutoring position thats awesome. Ill mail you a check for every kid I have. I have no kids. Oh well.

  16. syntaxsinner says:

    I feel you are brilliant. If you want to be facebook friends that would be awesome. Maybe weird? I dont care dude. You are ne plus ultra creative. Genius. Sheer genius. EQ through the roof. I always enjoy your stuff.
    Im at and live in Portland, OR the skater capital with highest rate of abduction in USA and most strip bars per sq. ft. in USA. Dude, Ive seen weird shit here. City’s dumass slogan “Keep Portland Weird”. Its evil out here. Amanda Seyfreid did an abduction movie out here. Any way, I been abducted. 24 years ago. Not for long. A friend of my wife’s- not so lucky. Tortured, raped, forced yo take meth. 13 year old boy. My own private Idaho? Whatever. The movie surrounds Oregon. You want monsters, I’ll tell you about monsters. Shit dude. Religious molesters. If I dont have flashbacks and PTSD shit. “Hey everybody… I seen real. This guy writes real. Planet of monsters and grit. We are meat polsicles. Now you met someone crazier than you or your subjects. I just am not scary. Hahaha. I write too much. Ok. Hava good nite man. Stay safe.

  17. prenin says:

    Scammers and Trolls! LoL!!!

    Looks like you collected a fine crop!!! :)

    Stick with us dude – we know where you’re coming from! :)

    God Bless and be well my friend! :)


  18. Le Clown says:

    What’s Craigslist?
    Le Clown

  19. drawandshoot says:

    Responses = Piece(s) of mind(lessness). Mostly.
    I suppose this confirms what you already know: some of you people are monsters, sadly.
    A brilliant idea for a social experiment, though.

    ‘Midtown Peace of Mind’ might be a good song title, Posky…

    • I don’t have a band anymore and was never talented at anything but singing. Maybe I should start another one? How old is too old to do that?

      • drawandshoot says:

        I’m not much of a musician either but singing is a worthwhile, pleasurable endeavour and no one is too old for more pleasure (and more art!).
        A band might be just the right thing.

  20. angela says:

    Damn, NewYorkers are harsh…if you had posted that back in the sticks, you would probably be married with a kiddo on the way living in some old barn.

    • I’ve been in the sticks too and doubt those people would have been any more kind. Perhaps a bit softer…. maybe I’ll do a follow up.

      It’s just reassuring to feel like the level of hate is the same everywhere in the country.

  21. Interesting social eexperiment!
    Funny and crazy responses :P

  22. i found this very interesting mainly because i did a similar experiment trying to sell a empty box

  23. The last one reminds me of all the real estate ads you find on Craiglist – they always seem to be doing missionary work abroad or caring for an ailing relative… unfortunate how many people are trying to scam you on there. So much for peace of mind!

  24. Lee says:

    Just to clarify, I pressed “like” on this post because I liked the intent of your original idea and the way you did it. Not so keen on the responses from the Craigslist crowd.

  25. Well the folks who replied certainly seemed to help prove the part about “how adults all seem to secretly hate each other.” How quick did it take to get these replies?

  26. emisformaker says:

    I am amused/saddened by the fact that if any of the negative replies to your ad possessed the minutest capacity for objective self-assessment, they would realize that they are so enraged by the lack of agency they experience in their own lives causes them to go out of their way to lash out at people around them striving for agency, simply because they want to be heard.

  27. Pingback: Living up to the name | Rambleonalot

  28. theskunkalex says:

    Reblogged this on theskunkalex and commented:
    People are so nice!

  29. I’d be very surprised that many people responded to your ad if it weren’t for this site:
    Craig’s List is a treasure trove of entertainment

  30. aman says:


    Beautiful thoughts, Peace of mind can never be obtained through the voice of the mind; peace comes only when the mind is aligned with the heart.

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