In my experience, the best way to get a woman to like you is to be totally apathetic and make as many bad jokes as humanly possible.
Keep in mind that this really only works on women you aren’t particularly interested in. If you are into someone, you can attempt to feign apathy but I should imagine that it would be akin to drinking non-alcoholic beer: utterly pointless and sad. If possible, attempt to put on sunglasses while delivering jokes and follow it immediately up with a sad story about your childhood. Your goal here is to confuse their brain until it feels too tired not to love you.
“Did you know that first humans that ventured across the ice bridge from Asia to North America were lost most of the time? I guess you could say that they just couldn’t keep their Bering Strait…. Also, I was molested as a child.”
If you follow my advice, the inventible wedding will be so passionate and emotional even the cake will be in tiers. You can thank me giving all of your sons and daughters my name.
When Colon found America he was lost too…
In America we call him Christopher Columbus because we hate using the proper name for ANYTHING.
Hahaha I live in Spain, which is from where he left off and thats what its called. Sorry I was sleepy and forgot that he´s called Columbus in the English speaking world. Do you think they invented another name just to not say the “c” word? ;)
Who knows. Frankly, I’d be pretty upset if I were famous for some reason and other countries decided to mispronounce and misspell my name.
Women used to use the same lines on me – how depressing!!! :)
I have learned to follow Shakespeare’s advice: “This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”
Probably a misquote, but you get the drift… :)
God bless my friend!
I feel like Shakespeare sort of had it together in the thoughts department. At least on paper.
Now you tell me. Where were you when I was single, Obi-Wan? It’s too late for me. Too deeply in. No rope is long enough. But perhaps it’s not too late for other hearts floating free in the ether.
You could always lose your significant other in a horrible accident or they could suddenly just stop loving you. Don’t give up hope yet!
My daughters would have to hate me too. Oh…wait…
Damn, that’s some good stuff. When I was single, I would have fallen for your material hook, line and sinker. That “Namaste right here” line was pure panty remover, Bro.
Dude, bro, I know it. You hit a total hottie with the right line and all you can hear is panties so drenched that they sound like a wet washcloth being thrown against a wall.
For realz, Broseph. Squish City.
I wonder if that’s what women have been doing to me – being apathetic to get my attention. All this time I thought they either didn’t notice me, or were ignoring me.
Don’t rule that out. With women, don’t ever rule anything out.
If guys hit on me with these puns. That’s it. I’d be sold. Love me.
Who doesn’t love a bad pun? Or a Dad joke. Very sexy. . .
That’s why they’re called dad jokes. They help you get someone so pregnant.
I am glad I am so far beyond this. I listen to pathetic lines every day. I have lines on my face just from eye-rolling.
I cannot stress enough that this isn’t good advice.
I laughed pretty hard at this…hi-lar-i-ous!
I totally nailed it, didn’t I?
you did, indeed!
I would say so…
Bad Advice Lady is crying in her brandy. You stole the show, good sir. Stole it.
The Bad Advice Lady still knows what’s up. You, of all people, know that to be true.
A lovely way to start the day. With a nice big lo-cal chuckle! Danke.
A lovely way to start the morning off with a nice lo-cal chuckle. Thanks!
Not a problem.
The amount of inner turmoil I’m facing, solely because I want to use this at work! Hopefully the HR rep falls for it, just incase.
You’re like the Mr Miyagi of the pickup lines. Mr Yu-wan-me. That works. Wax on…
These aren’t pickup-lines, it’s a terrible compulsion that I have.
Hi Matt! :)
Thanks for the visit and comment! :)
Right now it is 11’C, 20% humidity and with no breeze.
Normally we’d be seeing 25’C by now, but we even had snow in April!!! :(
We have been promised warmer weather over the weekend, but it’s a North/South divide: Southern UK getting warmth and sunshine, North getting heavy cloud and rain.
It hacks me off, but this has been the coldest Spring in 50 years with more wet and horrible weather due next week.
The only reason I’m still awake at 3.30am is insomnia aided by my neighbour’s washing machine in its spin cycle… :(
Hope things cool down for you – the news reported Phoenix and Las Vegas were facing 48’C which must be lethal to the young and the elderly…
God Bless my friend!
I was out there on a motorcycle trip in heat like that a few years go. It’s was surreal how hot it was!
Get some sleep if you can, I’m going to try the same!
Reblogged this on kidprepjay and commented:
I love this blogger. Very original!
Is it my eyes or my brain or does the mouth in that lady’s last picture resemble a penile sheath?
Love the drawings. Man. I’m going to try out this advice tomorrow. I’ll report back.
You have no idea how ready I am to hear about the results.
Love the illustrations,the way she approach him was funny.
I’ll do my best not to try this…