Clifford: The Large Crimson Canine

I told this to one of my nephews after reading part of the book to him. We didn’t finish it because he got really into pretending to crash toy cars off the coffee table and onto the carpet. Each time he would make an explosion sound and then usually a few seconds of fire sounds, so I knew there were never any survivors. I used to do the same thing. It was at that moment when I wondered which of us had the darker imagination. I wish I was with him now and the rest of my family eating corn on the cob or whatever normal people do.

I have a haiku.

Labor Day weekend
I grew a poor looking beard
It rained in New York

About You Monsters Are People

Wisdom, wonderment and weird for everyone.
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24 Responses to Clifford: The Large Crimson Canine

  1. UndercoverL says:

    Who are these ‘normal’ people?

  2. David says:

    My granddaughter, 2.5 years old, is sort of obsessed with Clifford. I can’t get past the fact that Clifford’s dad is a normal-sized dog. Of course I read the books to her anyway.

  3. Man, I fucking hated Clifford. It’s poorly drawn. His size is always changing. The storylines were awful. The dialog was shit. Seriously, there’s some really good children’s books out there and Clifford ain’t one. I was so glad my daughter got too old for him. And don’t get me started on those fucking Bernstein Bears, either.

    I hated Clifford
    But my kids made me read him
    Dante’s sixth level

  4. prenin says:

    I had to sit through the cartoons with a few of the kids I was conned into looking after ‘just for ten minutes’.

    Two hours later I was ready to eat the TV set!!! :)

    God bless!


  5. urbannight says:

    I love the second cartoon. It was probably accidental swallowing when he tried to like people in a friendly manner.

  6. angela says:

    you’ve done stole Clifford and turned him demonic! haha…in libraryland, Clifford does some big business on a daily basis. Perhaps you should draw a follow-up pic for your haiku – beards are all the rage these days for ‘normal hipsters’ ….

  7. I’m agreeing with Angela with this, you’ve stolen Clifford and turned him demonic. Although he may have already been…..but then again could demonic be normal and everyone else is abnormal for being ‘sane’?

  8. emisformaker says:

    My parents got me a couple of Clifford books because the human protagonist shared a first AND second name with me.
    I preferred the story about the kid who gets a pet dragon and feeds it many pancakes, whereupon it grows to enormous size. Or ‘Little Monster’s Bedtime Book’.

  9. Anna says:


    *These are actually lyrics, not just me screaming my dog love into the internet.

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