I hope that everyone had consensual sex on Valentine’s Day but, if you found yourself sans a valentine, it’s not like this was your last chance. I assure you, despite that deep dark feeling, you will probably have another opportunity. This desperation that accompanies the holiday is really sick. I bet the number of people who contemplate suicide is astronomical. But, before you jump out of a second story window, take into consideration how many other people are in the same boat. People are lonely everywhere, especially married people. If you just want some human contact, you don’t have to shack up with someone to get it. There are millions of people out there that would love for you to come up and hug the crap out of them, although probably not literally. There are bound to be exceptions though.
I know a lot of people are in a hurry to couple up. Maybe you feel like you’re running out of eggs, or have nothing left to contribute to society so you’re in a big rush to have children as soon as possible. Well, other than that being the worst reason to have children ever, I can marginally understand. However, finding someone on Valentine’s Day isn’t the best plan for you or that child you are so desperate to make. Because, after that initial date, it’s going to be a couple of months before you can secretly go off birth control and conceive. That will put the birth date of your fresh brood right back around the winter holidays and, frankly, that is the worst thing you can do to your child. Seriously, if you’re going into labor on Christmas or Valentine’s Day, hold that baby in until a few days later. You’ll be doing that kid a huge favor.
Besides, if you go another year without having a child, that’s another year people aren’t going to have to deal with you posting photos of yourself pregnant and then a succession of photos of that thing after you have it but before it does anything even remotely interesting. Out of all of the people I know, less than twenty of them had a child that I bothered to keep up with and even fewer had one that I actually found entertaining. Furthermore, sexual real estate plummets after you’ve had a child and there is no guarantee that you’re going to find someone who is going to go out with you just because they like your personality after you get divorced. If you think this is limited to just the women, you are severely mistaken. After a string of late night feedings and weeks of dirty diapers, take a long look into the face of a new father– I don’t think you’ll like what you find (haggard mental anguish). Male, female, straight or gay, nobody escapes the physical ravages of parenthood.
I’m not here to cheer you up or tell you not to worry because you’ll eventually find someone perfect to start a family with. I’m just suggesting to wait until the last possible moment, or until you’re absolutely ready for one. It’s not like it would be the worst thing conceivable to never have children or find a long term mate though. Also, if you happen to be Japanese, you’re just about guaranteed to stay single anyway because that whole country has made loneliness its national bird. Even if you do find someone, most people pass on relatively soon after their spouse dies. So, even ideal love has its issues, don’t spend the whole day worrying too much about it. We’ve all got a lot more to offer the world. Just live your life and it will sort of take care of the rest, even without you stressing over things.
How many articles by unlikable single people did you read about on Valentine’s Day? I read six and I was actively trying to avoid them. At least you’re not one of those people, actively complaining about the commercial nature of the holiday, not because they have a problem with the rampant commercialism that plagues our society, but because they feel jilted and lonely on a day that exists to remind them of that. Maybe you’re not in the perfect relationship but there are worse things in the world. Adults that enjoy Pokemon are a perfect example of this.
There are still dozens of people in the United States still living inside of an iron lung, so we really cannot get away with feeling too sorry for ourselves. Seriously, just consider all of the poor unfortunate ugly souls that have it so many times worse than you do. If you can do that objectively and still pity yourself, then this next illustration is for you.
For what it is worth, I do hope everyone has a lark and finds love– just don’t do it on anyone else’s terms but your own and hold on to a modicum of self respect. I firmly believe that we can all muster that and are absolutely worth it. Step outside and take a lung full of air. You’re sharing that with billions of other people. Don’t get fixated on just one of them, even if it’s yourself. Now go and have yourself an adventure .
I wish we, like the Greeks, had more words for love–http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love– then days like V day wouldn’t feel so limited to one certain experience. And remember, you can always have consensual sex with yourself. (Can you imagine if it was not consensual? What would that look like?)
Loved your post.
I’ll start drawing it tonight and send it to you for approval.
Tee hee hee. I can’t wait to see it!
I’d like to see that too! =)
I love your lonely heart-vagabond cartoon. Or is that a lonely-heart-stick-figure? Tugs at my bitter heartstrings, for sure.
He is a vagabond. Trust me.
Please define “trust” – ?
I’ll rephrase it as, “Allow me to assure you.”
Well, that’s far more reassuring ;)
Well said, sir.
Thankfully I’m happy with my own company! :)
There are adults that like Pokemon?! (okay truthfully I always thought Geodude was kinda cute but I have a thing for rocks…don’t take that the wrong way…)
All excellent points Posky!
Psyduck is the best, everyone knows that.
Oh come on, Geodude rocks!
You’re never too old to love Pokemon! :)
Yes you are. It happens when you turn six.
Still, there is something about catching them all…
Funny, but much truth you have written. :)
I’ve had but one brush with the Pokemon franchise, and that was when they put out a game that came with a pedometer. The idea was that you could make your chirpy little gremlins stronger with real-life activity / exercise. I thought, “Hmm.” Then I thought, “Nah.” Having more reasons to run is good, I suppose, but the prospect of knowing the vocabulary of that universe felt … wrong.
As a new parent during these winter months, “Haggard mental anguish” hits the nail on the head. I know I’m doing okay, and all things considered my wife and I are probably doing great, but … man, we want more sleep. And we want to get outside with the stroller more. So, ‘Don’t feel bad about waiting awhile to conceive, and make sure that bundle gets here during the green months’–I think this is sound advice, Sir Posky.
I think you really did it right, Jeff. You found a woman who makes an ideal teammate, got to a good place in your life and actually planned for a family (as much as one can) instead of having one and then just planning around it. While I know absolutely nothing about raising a child, I have to assume that doing that has to be immensely beneficial during their developmental years.
I used to work with young children pretty regularly and having stability in their lives seemed to be the key to being well adjusted.
Like many of my posts, I know this sounds over the top (which it is) and cynical (which it is) but I have seen too many people having children and secretly regretting it or simply doing it because it was something to do. A family, even if it is just a parent and a child, is immensely important.
I hope that you, your wife, and that fresh daughter are all doing well. I hope Michigan is uncharacteristically warm this spring and that baby gets some sun on her face.
My wife and I have also seen many people who had a kid or three before taking a good, careful look at what doing so meant for them and/or their children. I’ve been around kids whose interests and curiosity for knowledge are perceived by their parents as just another unforseen outburst to quell, whose enthusiasm for anything is mistaken for rowdiness, parents who do nothing for their children except punish them when they seem to have misbehaved. Awful stuff. Heartbreaking stuff.
We’re doing well, all things considered. Tomorrow will be warm enough for a good, long walk, if we don’t get rained on.
Love the line about Japan making loneliness its national bird!
I nearly died of laughter at the adults that like pokemon joke. I think that may actually be the worst thing.
Hi! Having coming across your blog, it is good to see a blog with such life in it! Not only that, but you even gift us with illustrations so we don’t drown in words. Thanks!
I’ve found that a lot of people don’t like reading a lot of text or having to use their imagination too much. It’s the curse of our times.
Yeah many things are eventually manipulated because we always get too much of it.
I’ve never had a baby, I do not like Pokemon, I love adventures, and I’m pretty sure I already own a hobo stick. Maybe I’ll find love after all…
Hilarious post, Posky! :)
I’m very certain you will.
Of course if you had children Posky it would be a good excuse for having the ENTIRE COLLECTION OF POKEMON!
Naturally your secret is safe with me…
People are lonely everywhere “especially married people”. Oh my, where did that come from Posky?!
Loved the image of the woman giving birth – very simple but well expressed. But you know, I reckon it would be great to be born on a public holiday – you’d always get the day off, could party.
Another great post, great read, Posky.
It came from about half the married people I know.
You know this isn’t the worse unsolicited advice I have ever heard.
Glad and honored to b breathing air w u… Um, that only sounds right in context
However, I like it out of context too.
I’d be willing to bet there are more lonely people who are married than lonely people who are single. Being with someone and being lonely is the worst feeling. Ever.
Back when I was single, I don’t think I ever had a girlfriend on Valentines Day. A female friend was similarly cursed so we had standing (platonic) dates with each other in case nobody else scooped us up.
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