Category Archives: america

Inspirational Inspiration For Work Or Home

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The Police Are Not Animals*

I’ve heard that the best strategy when dealing with the police is to “remain silent and stand still.” That’s the kind of advice you’d give someone to avoid being attacked by a bear. The police aren’t killer sharks or poisonous … Continue reading

Posted in america, animals, Current Events, Dark Humor, history, politics, society | Tagged , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

Smoking: Still Totally Cool

I used to love smoking. For years smoking allowed me to take longer and more frequent breaks at work, was a good excuse to get off my ass and go outside, and frequently allowed me an opportunity to start up … Continue reading

Posted in america, comics, Dark Humor, humor, Life, science, society, style, true stories, web comics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 50 Comments

Become A Billionaire Before Black Friday!

The other day I was eating a money-themed candy bar and thought to myself, “I’m not going to have enough cash to buy people Christmas gifts again.” I usually try to convince myself that the holidays are all about spending … Continue reading

Posted in america, Current Events, Dark Humor, humor, Life, society | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

An Apology To People Who Hate Reading

Last week I wrote the scariest story ever told for everyone’s Halloween enjoyment. While it received plenty of accolades and is currently being made into an audiobook, some of my fans complained that it was too long for them to … Continue reading

Posted in america, comics, Current Events, Dark Humor, halloween, humor, Internet Culture, stories | Tagged , , , , , | 28 Comments

These 15 Photos Of Cosplayers Revealing That They Aren’t Unemployed Virgins Or Child Molesters “Might Blow Your Mind”

A popular internet content aggregator asked some of the “best cosplayers of New York Comic Con” to reveal what they did with their days and none of them confessed to jerking off to anime and steampunk all day or spending … Continue reading

Posted in america, art, comics, Current Events, Dark Humor, humor, Internet Culture, society, style | Tagged , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

The Nexus Of Magic: A Real Place I Walked To

The other day I visited the most magical place in the world by accident. It exists at sunset between the Triborough and Hell Gate Bridges in the northern most tip of Queens, New York. There, decades of broken glass litter … Continue reading

Posted in america, Current Events, friendship, Life, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Police Stopped Climate Change… Protesters From Protesting.

Over the weekend nearly half of a million people peacefully marched down Sixth Avenue through Midtown Manhattan hoping to make the correct amount of noise required to convince corrupt decision-makers and science-ignorant mongoloids to stop ignoring that climate change was … Continue reading

Posted in america, Current Events, friendship, Life, politics, science, society, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Some Anti-Vaxxer I Know Gave Birth To A Mutant

In a country where a television network previously called The Learning Channel can have a programming lineup filled with shows about about fat illiterate families that yell all the time and people who didn’t even know they were pregnant, it … Continue reading

Posted in america, Current Events, Dark Humor, humor, Life, science, society, stories, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Air Conditioning Doesn’t Build Character

I have been carrying around a sweater with me all summer because this country has an egregious and unhealthy obsession with air conditioning. Air conditioning doesn’t build character or make you a more interesting person. It just encourages you, an … Continue reading

Posted in america, Current Events, Dark Humor, Life, science, society | Tagged , , , , , , , | 27 Comments