Category Archives: Life

Police Stopped Climate Change… Protesters From Protesting.

Over the weekend nearly half of a million people peacefully marched down Sixth Avenue through Midtown Manhattan hoping to make the correct amount of noise required to convince corrupt decision-makers and science-ignorant mongoloids to stop ignoring that climate change was … Continue reading

Posted in america, Current Events, friendship, Life, politics, science, society, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Fond Look Back: Vomit And Strip Clubs

My first time at a strip club was when I was seventeen. My friend’s older brother was a DJ for such an establishment and thought it would be an important passage into manhood for us. I had previously been in … Continue reading

Posted in Dark Humor, friendship, history, humor, Life, religion, stories, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Some Anti-Vaxxer I Know Gave Birth To A Mutant

In a country where a television network previously called The Learning Channel can have a programming lineup filled with shows about about fat illiterate families that yell all the time and people who didn’t even know they were pregnant, it … Continue reading

Posted in america, Current Events, Dark Humor, humor, Life, science, society, stories, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Literate Animals

Jean Cocteau said that the worst tragedy for a poet is to be admired through being misunderstood. I bet that’s true. In hopefully unrelated news, Katie Fox was the big winner of the hat and doesn’t even look remotely stupid … Continue reading

Posted in animals, books, cats, comics, Life, society, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Air Conditioning Doesn’t Build Character

I have been carrying around a sweater with me all summer because this country has an egregious and unhealthy obsession with air conditioning. Air conditioning doesn’t build character or make you a more interesting person. It just encourages you, an … Continue reading

Posted in america, Current Events, Dark Humor, Life, science, society | Tagged , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Unhappily Returning From Vacation

I spent the last couple of weeks visiting my family in Michigan. My mother is a school teacher and I found out that they no longer use blackboards or chalk. While I understand the benefits of whiteboards, there is something aesthetically … Continue reading

Posted in america, Current Events, Life, society, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

I Didn’t Get Stabbed: My Time at a Dive Bar Karaoke

There is a dive-bar somewhere in the Midwest that several of my friends claim makes you pay the cover charge in teeth.  When considering the usual clientele, this seems less like a joke and more like a plausible assumption to … Continue reading

Posted in america, Dark Humor, friendship, humor, Life, motorcycles, society, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Surviving in Modern America And Beyond

Anti-intellectualism is at an all time high in the United States of America. We currently have a large portion of the population angry about the waning standard of living that remain absolutely convinced that raising people’s wages will somehow destroy our … Continue reading

Posted in america, Dark Humor, history, humor, Life, politics, society, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

I Was Raped By Garbage Culture In A Theater Full Of People

Garbage culture is so pervasive that we can’t escape being involved in it somehow. It doesn’t matter if you don’t watch television or follow celebrity news, it will eventually catch up with you. Despite actively trying to avoid it for … Continue reading

Posted in america, Dark Humor, Life, society, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Calling Out All Moms

I just want to thank my mom for not being a stupid bitch, like a lot of other people’s moms (and if those other moms disagree I will totally fight them in the park tonight at eleven-thirty unless they are … Continue reading

Posted in Current Events, Dark Humor, Life, true stories | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments