Category Archives: stories

Religious Apathy: Putting My Faith In Faithlessness

Posted on October 1, 2013 by You Monsters Are People

This week I am guest posting on A Clown On Fire as part of A Five Day Conversation on God. I talk on my personal experience with religion and feelings about faith. Here’s a taste: More often than not, parents try to impose … Continue reading →

Posted in Dark Humor, humor, Life, society, stories, true stories, web comics, Webcomics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Terrible Advice That Could Potentially Work

Posted on June 27, 2013 by You Monsters Are People

In my experience, the best way to get a woman to like you is to be totally apathetic and make as many bad jokes as humanly possible. Keep in mind that this really only works on women you aren’t particularly … Continue reading →

Posted in Dark Humor, humor, love, musings, science, society, stories, web comics, Webcomics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 38 Comments

A Ghost in the Mind is Worth Two in the Bush

Posted on June 12, 2013 by You Monsters Are People

Watching someone attempt to fight off ghosts in real life is nothing like it’s portrayed in the movies. On the big screen it’s all Hollywood special effects and computerized lasers but, in reality, it’s all cursing and screaming the right … Continue reading →

Posted in Current Events, Dark Humor, Life, musings, science, society, stories, true stories | Tagged , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Sadness and Soviet Space Dogs

Posted on April 17, 2013 by You Monsters Are People

A friend of mine called me late the other night and said the following, “It’s like we’re in hell. This is hell… but it’s still so beautiful.” I knew exactly what he meant. A few days prior, I was wandering … Continue reading →

Posted in animals, comics, Dark Humor, humor, Life, love, musings, pets, society, stories, true stories, web comics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 42 Comments

Heartache in the Absence of Love and then, Eventually, the Other.

Posted on April 3, 2013 by You Monsters Are People

My first girlfriend was a lot like my first job; not particularly enjoyable and only obtained because of peer pressure and convenience. They also both sort of had a weird bleach smell. It probably doesn’t come as much of a … Continue reading →

Posted in college, Current Events, Dark Humor, humor, Life, love, musings, stories, true stories, Uncategorized, web comics, Webcomics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 46 Comments

Bedwetting, Twins, and Other Real-Life Terrors from Childhood

Posted on February 25, 2013 by You Monsters Are People

I was a bed wetter. It was so bad that my parents refused to give me fluids after late afternoon. Sometimes I would get really thirsty and they’d flat out refuse to serve me, so I would sneak into the … Continue reading →

Posted in comics, Dark Humor, humor, Life, love, stories, true stories, web comics | Tagged , , , , , , | 42 Comments

Pedophilia: Not Always Funny

Posted on February 5, 2013 by You Monsters Are People

Like a lot of children, I went to church at the behest of my mother. I spent the majority of my time there pretending that I was a robot or a detective (or a robot-detective) and wandering into places I … Continue reading →

Posted in Dark Humor, humor, Life, society, stories, true stories, Uncategorized, web comics, Webcomics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 43 Comments

The You Monsters Are People Audio Experience: Roller Coaster DJs

Posted on January 29, 2013 by You Monsters Are People

You no longer need to be literate to enjoy You Monsters Are People because I’ve started a podcast. Listen to it at work or download it and take it with you for the commute, the gym, or into the afterlife. … Continue reading →

Posted in Current Events, humor, Life, podcast, stories, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

When To Hug Someone: Life’s Greatest Mystery

Posted on December 26, 2012 by You Monsters Are People

Knowing when to hug someone is a question that has plagued humanity since its very inception. Confounded cave-people deduced how to trap and eat their monkey brethren right away but would have to wait thousands of years before even the … Continue reading →

Posted in Dark Humor, friendship, humor, society, stories, true stories, web comics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 47 Comments

How Headaches Have Changed My Life

Posted on November 22, 2012 by You Monsters Are People

I have never made the mistake of having exceptionally high expectations for my birthday but, despite my best efforts, other people always anticipate that it’s going to be this magical moment for me. It is widely held belief that a … Continue reading →

Posted in comics, Current Events, Dark Humor, humor, Life, science, society, stories, true stories, web comics, Webcomics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 65 Comments